Just a little somethin' I've been thinking about.

So, lately I have been hearing more and more from my missionary friends. And I simply love it! It really is the best to have friends all over the place right now! I love the work they're doing, and I love them! It's so fun to see over emails and through the months how they change and grow. It really is an amazing thing.

But that's all the church type stuff I want to talk about, for this post. I think.. Anyway. I've been thinking lately and there is this quote that has been popping into my head many times through out the day. The quote is:

"If you judge someone, you have no time to love them."

I seriously love it more and more every day, because it is so true! It's really starting to make me change my whole way of thinking. Usually upon meeting someone new, my eyes go right away, judging them. I am not proud to admit it, but it's true. I like to say I'm not a very judgmental person, but boy oh boy, in my head I really am! And I hadn't noticed it till that quote started popping into my head. I've known of the quote for some time now, and had never thought of it so much. But with meeting so many new people and literally living in one of the weirdest cities in the US (our motto here is Keep Austin Weird!) I automatically want to start judging all these new people, from what they're wearing to how they talk. They way they eat, move, etc. So the other day (when I realized I kept thinking back to said quote) I had just met this boy, named Zac. My first instinct was to point out to myself (obviously not out loud) the acne marks on his cheek. But, I stopped myself (mostly) and reminded myself that I'd have no time to learn to love Zac if all I looked at was his imperfections. And that got me to thinking, how many times do you judge someone so much that you don't want to befriend them. You look at them and say thing like: oh they're weird, or no they're too quiet, oh her hair is so short gross, or that shirt is so ugly. Things like that. I can honestly say that is one of the first things I say to myself when I meet someone new. And I'm really just rambling now but my challenge to you is to just think things through before thinking things to yourself.. if that makes sense... I just think to myself about how many relationships I lost out on with great people because I was so busy judging them and not taking some time to love them. 

Other than that little epiphany life is good for me! I'm going to start a crazy schedule with work pretty soon and I"m way excited for that. I'm making plans to go to school next semester. And I seem to meet new friends every where I go. And I love that. Have a good week! Xoxoxo!

If you couldn't tell by now... I am a Mormon! And I love it!

SO, this past week has been crazy! It seems like the last time I blogged was months ago and not just a week ago. First things first; I LOVE AUSTIN. I seriously don't think there is a better place in the world for me to be at this point of my life. I am learning so much about myself and so much about other people. Taking a step out of Utah and out of a predominantly Mormon area has been a blessing. And I know I'm going to do this at some point in this post but really, the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints is so true! I really can't begin to tell you all of the ways that it has been shown to me just this past week. It's crazy the things you are able to feel when you open up your heart to the spirit. It's insane to me that I waited for so long to allow this transformation in my life to start taking place. I'm not sure I was ready to go through all of the hard stuff earlier and maybe that's why. Maybe I was stubborn (I was) and maybe I didn't want to listen to all the people around me telling me that I needed to shape up. But now that I have I am so upset with myself for all of the time I lost! I have the longest road back to where I need to be in my life, but I'm going to walk the trail with my head held high, and I'm not going to give up. I'm going to keep strong, because I know if I give up this time I'm not ever going to make things right. And I know I wouldn't be able to live with that.
So, being in an area that isn't bursting with the seams of Mormons is kind of different. Since I still don't really know anyone and yearn for social interaction there is this app called Tinder (I'm seriously so lame) that I've used to meet boys in my area. I've met a few really awesome boys through it too (surprisingly). The conversation always leads to me being from Utah, and am I a Mormon or not. And until last night I had just tried to shy away from the topic. I would say yes, I'm a Mormon and answer their odds and ends of questions but not go into any detail other than that. But last night, I was on a date with this kid, and we got on the topic of Heaven, and the beliefs of Mormonism with a handful of different subjects. And I really got to share my knowledge and what I've learned and I seriously surprised myself not only with how easy it was for me to tell him the things he was asking but also with how much I knew. I definitely had some help from the big guy. It was really interesting though, because through telling him what I did know I was able to have one of those awesome missionary experiences, something I've never really had before now. And it was just so awesome. I had the biggest smile on my face the whole time, and it was just neat.
I"m sorry if you really don't give a doodle about all of this, and I know I"ve really never been to open about my beliefs and such, but I just can't help it. It seems to be we like to talk about things that make us happy, and for me, this all makes me beyond happy. And I just want to shout it from the heavens. God is seriously such a fantastic and great guy! He sent me here for a reason, and he made sure I'd have the people I would need in my life to be with me every step of the way, and I am beyond grateful for that. I really do have the most amazing and fun people surrounding me. Life is good, and it's only getting better! XOXO

Because of you, I want to be a better me.

This week has been a bit different. I started work, and I already absolutely love the job. I have two more weeks of training (BOO!) and then I have some floor training, which I can't wait for because when that's over I get to go solo and I'm so excited for it! Even though it's a few weeks away still. I love working, and I love learning all of this new information. I love feeling like I'm going to help so many people. I can't wait to see where this line of work takes me.
So, other than that.. Things here are pretty slow. I'm starting to miss Utah more than I ever thought I'd be able to. And I know it's probably because I haven't really made friends here and I know I will soon enough but it's more than that. There's this app called Tinder, right? Well it's a sort of dating app and I was using it to meet people (I'm so lame) and tinder matched me with this boy. He had the biggest green eyes, which is why I initially liked him in the first place. And then we got to talking and I started thinking "Holy cow, this guy rocks. I actually want to meet this kid!" And that's when we found out: we live 1058 miles away from each other. He lives in the town I just left. How unfair is that!? It's very unfair, if you ask me. He's the total package. He's so handsome, and he's intelligent. He loves math, and reading, and he has a passion in his life. He's even a return missionary! You may be going "Whoa, Brooke, slow down! You just barely started talking to this boy! You hardly know him! And you're so young! You don't need to be getting wound up in anything right now!" And I may agree with you and tell you you're right. Or I may disagree with you and tell you all the reasons you're wrong. I'm not even sure how I feel about him. I just wish we had met earlier. Or I wish he had plans of moving here. Because he's so perfect. From his head to his toes. Everything he tells me about him makes my heart smile so big. And he's so so so sweet to me. I can hardly contain the smile he makes me have! And even more importantly, he makes me want to be a better me. And I think that's so important to have in whoever any person ends up with. So, I've decided that with him inspiring me to do so (he doesn't know he inspired me to do anything, especially not this) I'm going to get back to my roots, and I'm going to go to church, and I'm going to straighten things in my life out.
Not for him, but for me. I've just needed a little push, and he gave me that. So even if I never meet Mr. Perfect in person, he will always be the man who helped me realize what I needed in my life, simply because as he talked to me, I could see little glimpses of all the good things I was told about the church growing up, all of the things I've seemed to forget over these past few rough years. I want to be a better person so that when the day does come and the man who loves me wants to take me to the temple, I can go with him. With a clean slate. So I can get married for time and all eternity.
So, I have set up a meeting with my new bishop. And boy, oh boy, am I nervous. But I know it's the right thing to do, and if I don't do it now I never will. And I will continue living a life full of regret and "what if's" And I'm not sure I could live with that much longer.
No matter what your beliefs are, I hope you know that when you feel the feeling to change or that you need to make things better, you have to listen to it. Because you'll feel it for a while and then one day you'll wake up and it'll be gone. Then a year or so later you'll wake up and think to yourself "Oh no, what have I done with this life of mine? It's such mess, how will it ever get better?" And you may think things you have done are unforgivable, and that you'll never get the love of god back that you once have. But that's where you're wrong. The times you were down the lowest were the times that he loved you the most. God will never leave your side (or whatever other greater power you believe in) You always have someone to turn to. And if it comes down to you thinking you have no one and that you're completely alone in the world, take a look around and you'll have me. I've been there. I am there right now. I have dug a hole so deep for myself that for a long time I wasn't sure I could get out.
But I can, and I will. I won't give up this time, no matter what I won't give up. Because not only do I deserve to make my life better but so does my family, my god and my future husband and my future family. So when times get rough and I feel like giving up, I'll remember who I'm really doing all of this for and I will keep strong and keep to my word.
God is good. Have a blessed night and week, all. ♡

Sorry it took so long!

So, an update on my life! I graduated highschool in May! Yay! So happy that portion of my life is over and done with. Highschool taught me a lot of things I will carry through my life, as well as introduced me to some friends I'm sure to keep for a life time. One of those friends left on a mission to the Philippines! She had a great time while in the MTC and has recently just arrived into the country! She loves it and I am so so happy for her and the happiness she is receiving through this adventure in her life. So, my best friend left on her mission too. I took a family trip to Montana to say goodbye to my dad before MY adventure started! On July 2nd, I packed all my bags up and I made my way to the airport. From there I got on my first flight- a one way flight to Austin, Texas! I am now living and working here in Texas. And I'm loving every second of it! I got a job as a 911 call taker for the Austin Police Department. Today was my first day on the job and I'm already loving it! Texas gets better every day and I love living here. I love the city, I love all the new things. I am in love with the beauty of everything that surrounds me. It's all so fun and new and I can't wait to share more adventures on my blog! I'll really need to set aside some time every week to update this thing!
♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

People are so frustrating.

Okay so, being considerate. It means you're conscious of those around you. Of their feelings, of their possessions. Of them. I feel that as of late kids my age and most people in general have forgotten what it is to be considerate. AND IT IS SO ANNOYING. I just don't get it. What happened to manners? A little over a month ago I got a new iPhone. I've wanted one since they came out and my mom finally caved and let me get one. So I took as good of care of it as I would a new puppy. Possibly even a small child. Tonight at work, I was listening to music on it through this cool speaker attachment that I have. A few coworkers came and picked it up and looked at the speaker, which was fine. But someone set it onto a paper a girl needed. So when she came into the room to get the paper she just pulled the phone and speaker right off the shelf and into the sink full of water before. It is safe to say I said a few foul mouthed words. I didn't even know what to do. I wanted to scream but I felt like I had been hit in the gut with a bat. I just don't understand why it was so difficult for her to either put down the things she was holding or ask me or someone else standing in the room to move my phone. There was just no reason for the incident, you know? I realize that she didn't do it on purpose and she really does feel bad about it. She even offered to buy me a new one, (which may be the result if sitting in a bag of rice doesn't fix the water damage) I just don't see why this was a neccessary thing to happen. Her not using common sense or being considerate led to me having a broken phone and carrying more stress than I even need to have all at once ever again. I'm not even mad at this point. Just upset, really. Anyway sorry about that boring ramble. But as much as it sucks that is the most exciting to happen to my life lately. Fingers crossed it all gets fixed by Monday..